It's 4:20 in the morning. I have tried - and failed - to fall asleep for the last hour or so. Granted that means I only started my attempts at hibernation at about 3am. I don't function on a normal sleep schedule! Wanna make something of it!? Okay, sorry, I'm still kinda pissed, and cranky, and tired. Yet sleep evades me.
Not only am I irked because I cannot sleep, but also because I am not currently in the presence of one of my best friends. I know why I can't sleep, and I know how I could fix this problem. I have too much on my mind and I need to vent. This is not the kind of venting that can be shared with the world. This is the kind of venting that can only be disclosed to an absolute best friend. Someone ultimately trustworthy and sympathetic. Someone who would never even think to judge when you're so genuinely frustrated and pissed off that you wind up crying uncontrollably; still trying to talk through heaving sobs, even though it's become unintelligible. They'll just sit there and listen, and hug you, and hand you tissue after tissue.
I don't necessarily need to vent in such a way - heaving sobs and all - but I do need the solace of that kind of bond to get out what I'm thinking. I have often believed that girls (and guys too for all I know) are incapable of working out their most complicated, mind-boggling problems on their own. They can give fantastic, deep, insightful advice to their best friend when they're having issues and need to talk things out. But when they themselves are experiencing a similar situation, they are left confused and uncertain. They need another friend to talk to and work things out, to help them see things in perspective. I need that right now. I need to work out all of this crap floating around in my head. Maybe I even need a good cry.
I cannot sleep. I am pissed. I have no current means of fixing this.
FML.
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