I'm a liar...so, what else is new

So I know I said I wasn't going to be changing my blog, just the name. I lied. Turns out Google likes me more than I thought so I will be changing to a new blog. The new URL is <qa-dftbalicia11.blogspot.com>

This will probably be the last post on this blog. So yea. *Ahem*

Call this my "change of address card." Hope ya'll like me enough to follow the new one.

Ta'.

In which Alicia makes a New Years Resolution

I realized something about myself yesterday.

I spent a big chunk of yesterday with one of my best friends, Rachel, and she and I just had a good old fashioned Girls Night Out. Rachel has always been my "therapist" friend. We turn to each other when we need to figure things out. And usually "figuring things out" includes either a lot of early morning walks in the park while we gab like speed-walking soccer moms, or a lot of late night drives on those unending, traffic-less country roads. There's a lot of talking, and a lot of listening, and even sometimes, some ink blots. We really do act like each others' therapists.

It was because of one of these conversations, late last night -- while watching Monty Python and the Holy Grail to boot -- that she helped me realize that I am so completely concerned with every one I care about being happy, that I tend to sacrifice my own happiness to ensure theirs. Which has kind of always been true I guess. In the past, when I have found out that one of my close friends likes the same guy I like, I step aside because I want them to be happy. I don't even think about it at the time, I think it's just a reflex. Even while sitting here I can think of at least 3 times that happened just in high school alone.

But here's the thing. It doesn't feel right to put myself first. I care so much about my friends and I would do anything for them -- well, for most of them at least. To think about what I really want before everyone else just seems selfish and wrong. But, at the same time I can't deny that I deserve to be happy at some point down the line.

Also, that quotation I want to get as a tattoo? ("It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.") I have to stop forgetting to live. I have to stop trying to make all of my friends happy, because that's just not realistic. It's just dwelling on dreams. Shit happens, and just because I wish it weren't that way, won't change the fact that it is that way, and it does happen.

So even though I am terrible at resolutions -- which is pretty much why this blog exists in the first place -- I am going to try to make this my resolution for 2012: I am going to start putting myself first. I don't care how selfish it may make me feel, I deserve to be happy too.

Technically-detail-ish stuff

So I know I just posted yesterday, but I just woke up, I'm a little happier, and a little cheerier. My outlook is better, and I now have the patience to talk about all the technical-detail-ish type stuff I should have mentioned yesterday.

So I know I said before that I was planning to switch to a new blog in 2012, but thanks to the fact that Google apparently hates me (Google owns Blogger) I can't get access to the other account I set up. So. New plan. I will in fact be keeping this blog but I will be changing the name as soon as I can come up with something quippy/fun/sarcastic/etc. I am still planning to potentially start vlogging, but since I was without my laptop for many moons that has been delayed.

Side note:
Microsoft can go die in a hole. Windows software makes me want to throw rocks... At people that annoy me. Which, if you think about it, is kind of like literally killing two birds with one stone! Ha!

So that's the plan as it stands right now. I don't know if I've ever mentioned this before but you can all also follow me on Twitter if you wish. @DFTBAlicia11.
Though, if you're not a fan of cursing....maybe you shouldn't. I am friends on Facebook with both my parents as well as a few adults from my church, so I pretty much always monitor what I post there. So when I'm pissed about something I take to Twitter to vent. So every once in a while it can get a little tiny bit  on the vulgar side....

So yea, Happy New Year all. For real this time.

It was 20 years ago today....okay, well, actually it was only 1 year ago

'Tis the 1 year anniversary of this blog.

*happy dance*

I would have posted a couple more times in December, howevermy computer decided to be a complete asshole to me and stop turning on during finals week. I only just now got it fixed (thank you dad).

I should be making this post about all the hope I have for 2012, and how it's going to be the best year ever. I just don't have that kind of outlook right now. Quite frankly I just had a bit of a meltdown. Thank God for my mom and Gilmore Girls.

I have found that I really lean on my mom and dad even more these days. Even though I don't have to get a whole lot of clearance from my parents when I make plans, and they've always been really relaxed in comparison to my friends' parents when it comes to things like curfews and such. (Basically, as long as I come home with all my limbs still attached and I don't burn the house down, they're good.) They trust me. And it's not like I've ever given them a real reason not to trust me. I'm a good kid. But lately I'm dealing with a whole bunch of "scary" new experiences: College and such. They've been through all this before. They survived. They are the fountain of knowledge.

Apparently I'm into fragmented sentences tonight. Yea. Sorry.

As far as New Years resolutions go, I've never been a big fan. I'm not patient enough for them.

So here's to 2012.
Bright side: It seriously can't suck that bad.
Other side: For some reason I have a feeling that it'll try it's damnedest to do just that.